Who Am I?

Underlying many problems, sins and struggles is a common theme: A mistaken idea of who we are as Christians.  Too often we get this idea that we are defined by our past mistakes, what people say we are, or who we think we are.  Yet God cries out through His Word: "No! No! No!  You are not in bondage to those things.  You are free; you are a new person, because I have made you new."  In order to conquer sin and feel the freedom Christ offers, we must understand our identity.  And before we can understand ourselves and who we are, we must understand God and who He is, for He is the One who created the universe and breathed life into each one of us.  He is the one who gives us our identity because He not only created us, but He also gave up His Son so we might have life.

Do you understand what Christ's sacrifice means for you personally, and what it should mean for you on a daily basis?  Do you know what it means for your identity and who you are as a person?  Before last summer I thought I knew.  But then I encountered God in a powerful way and I really got it for the first time - that my identity lies in Christ, not in my works or my deeds.  It lies solely on His mercy and grace.  He not only fixed me up, but He made me a new person gave me all the things promised in His Word.  For the next several weeks I would like to take some time to look at the names that God calls His people and what they mean for us as Christians.  So dive into the Word with me and find out who God says you are!

What do ya say?

Hey blog readers!
We haven't really been updating the blog very often, because all of our summers have been crazy. I'm sure you know what that feels like! And can you believe the school year is already started??? There is a lot to think about with school starting, and the new work load to get used to and all; and I'm sure we will cover some of that on here. But what I really want to know right now is how all of you are doing? Have you really been reading this blog? What posts have you really liked and want to see more of? And what are you struggling with that you would like to see posts on in the future? I assure you that EVERY christian girl has struggled with the same thing to some extent. Yes, even the ones that seem like the "good, christian, nice girls" So while the blog has been a little slow this summer, let's start some awesome and thought provoking discussion that will kick the school year off with a good start! What do ya say?

The Story of the Gold Ring (Part 4)

The steady voice a young man broke Lisa’s thoughts.  “Excuse me, ma’am, are you Lisa Carpenter?”  Lisa was startled to hear someone actually call her by name after being shunned by everyone else in the town.   She looked up into the kind eyes of a young man.  He held a small box in his hand and seemed nervous.  Although she knew she had never seen this man before, Lisa felt that she already knew him.  After some thought, Lisa acknowledged that she was, indeed, the girl he was seeking.  “At long last, I’ve found her!” the man exclaimed.  After seeing her bewildered look, the young man explained, “My name is Michael Harris, and I believe this belongs to you.”

Michael held out his hand, and offered the small box to Lisa, who solemnly took and opened it.  Inside the box lay a beautiful gold ring, perfectly matching the one that she had used and tarnished.  Suddenly, Lisa figured out why she recognized this young man.  Her father’s words to her, “You’ll know who to give it to when the time is right” began to flood her mind.  Her heart started pounding.  Lisa stood up quickly and began to tremble.  “Sir, here is my ring,” she told him, her eyes downcast.  “You can have it if you want, but it is no longer worth anything, for I have used it before the time was right.”  Michael glanced down at the ring Lisa held in her hand, and slowly took it from her.  With tears in his eyes, the young man looked at her lovingly.

Lisa felt as though his gaze burned right through her.  She stood, waiting for his harsh and cutting response.  But it never came.  Instead, Michael whispered, “You may have used this ring before the time was right, but one thing remains unchanged.”  And here he held the ring up before her eyes in a way so she might look at what was engraved inside the gold band.  “The outside may be used and tarnished, but my name is still engraved inside.  You may have tarnished your ring, but I still have mine to give.”  Michael gently slipped his ring onto Lisa’s finger.  With a look that was full of pain, yet full of love, he requested she come back home with him.  Silently Lisa agreed, though her heart was in turmoil.  How would her father respond when she stepped through the door of his home, the home which she had so eagerly abandoned five years ago to chase after her own selfish dreams.

The trip back to the Carpenter’s home was a long, miserable one for Lisa.  She had mixed emotions about seeing her father again.  Would he be angry with her?  He certainly had a right to be, and Lisa knew that all too well.  After several days of traveling, the coach that Michael and Lisa were traveling in finally came to a halt at 142 Westfield Road.  Lisa’s pulse raced as her husband led her from the carriage and up to the front door of Lisa’s childhood home.  Memories came flooding back as she stood outside her father’s door, now a stranger to her own family.  Everything seemed the same as when Lisa had left ten years ago, there was only one thing different.  A small headstone stood under a giant old oak tree that Lisa remembered climbing as a child.  Tears welled up in her eyes as she realized that this was her mother’s grave.  Mrs. Carpenter would never see her daughter return home.

After several knocks and a few minutes of suspenseful waiting, the front door opened and there stood Lisa’s father.  He had more wrinkles and gray hairs than when Lisa had last seem him, but he was the same lovable man she had known before.  His eyesight obviously failing, Mr. Carpenter squinted to see who stood at his door.  When he recognized his rebellious daughter standing there, the old man openly wept.  Embracing his daughter, he nearly dragged her inside and sat her down in the parlor.  Unable to contain her own emotions, with tears streaming down her cheeks, Lisa quietly apologized to her father, humbly asking his forgiveness.  Acknowledging the fact that she was not worthy to receive her father’s forgiveness, and fully expecting him to reject her as his daughter, she was surprised when he responded: “Welcome home, daughter.  I know that you’ve made mistakes and disobeyed me, but I want you to know that no matter what you’ve done, I will always welcome you back home.”

Michael and Lisa spent the rest of their lives together, caring for and nurturing the large family they were blessed to have.  After a long life of both joy and sorrow, husband and wife were laid to rest side by side in the cemetery out behind the old church that still stands on Westfield Road.  Their house, which was small yet cozy, became a tourist attraction for those passing through the little town of Devonshire.  People came from all over to see what became of Lisa Carpenter with the golden ring.  Even today, visitors can see, sitting above the fireplace in the old cottage, the two rings melded into one, with an inscription over the top: “These two rings symbolize the love between Michael and Lisa Harrison.  Shortly after their wedding, Lisa’s father had these rings melded into one and placed above the fireplace. For the Harrisons it was forever a symbol and reminder of Lisa’s disobedience and the pain she had brought to her husband.”

In one letter to her daughter shortly after she had received her own ring, Mrs. Harrison wrote: “This gift is one of great value.  It has potential to bring incredible joy, but also to bring incredible sorrow on those who misuse it.  Don’t even allow yourself a peek at it, lest its beauty entice you and enslave you into using it before the time is right.  All it takes is one glance to begin the process of dragging you down deep to a place you never meant to go.”

The Story of the Gold Ring (Part 3)

Lisa’s “one more day” with her ring turned into another week, another month, and another year.  Continually promising herself that “today would be the last”, she began to want more and more of the attention she got from wearing her ring, and wore it more often and for longer periods of time than before.  Eventually, the attention she got from her little village wasn’t enough for her.  The news of her expensive ring reached around the country.  Newspaper reporters wrote about her, radio announcers told of her, and television reporters wanted for have her on their shows.  People flocked to catch a glimpse of this young village girl who had become a celebrity overnight.  Lisa soaked in all this attention with seemingly incredible happiness.

                Despite her outward happiness, Lisa wasn’t truly satisfied.  Although she got worldwide attention and fame, deep inside she felt as if she had an empty hole that longed to be filled with something.  She wasn’t entirely sure what, but had a good idea it had to do with the name that was engraved in her ring.  Her father’s words about keeping the ring safe rattled in her head, but she knew she’d already disobeyed them and couldn’t do anything to change that.

As time wore on, Lisa’s ring began to tarnish more.  She had been so used to seeing it daily that she barely noticed it, but the journalists, reporters, and movie stars did, and they made sure that the whole world knew of the fading of the ring’s beauty.  One lonely night, after several years of slowly losing publicity, Lisa sat out on the street, alone and destitute, for her ring had tarnished to the point of losing nearly all its value and worth.  As she turned her now worthless ring over in her hands, Lisa was startled to find that the man’s name, which had been engraved on the inside of the ring, was, though a bit discolored, still legible.  She could still read the name of a man she didn’t even know, but somehow felt drawn to.  Lisa’s thoughts then turned to her father, whose eyes she imagined would have had extreme pain in them when he awoke one morning to find his daughter gone, having taken the ring with her.  Surely he knew what she was doing with the ring.  His all-knowing mind would have figured out, long ago, what his daughter had planned to do with her gift.  “How could I be so foolish?” Lisa thought to herself.  “If only I hadn’t touched it that one night nearly five years ago.  I would not be in this state today.”  Then she wondered what her father would say if she returned to him now and begged his forgiveness.  There would be no way he would forgive her now, with all that she’d done!

The Story of the Gold Ring (Part 2)

Lisa took her father’s advice to heart and put the precious ring, carefully, into a box and hid it away in her bedroom closet.  For some time, the ring lay safe and was unseen by the prying eyes of the world.  But unfortunately, as is what often happens, Lisa’s curiosity grew.  Each day she thought more and more about the ring until she was afraid she might die of suspense.  How long would it be until she could use it?  Why would her father give her this beautiful ring, and then tell her she must keep it hidden away?  She wanted so badly to wear the ring, to flaunt it on her hand, and to show the world how beautiful and special it was.  Lisa wanted the attention of people who would admire the beautiful work her father had done.

                One evening, after all the house had gone to bed, Lisa crept across the bedroom quietly, so she wouldn’t disturb her sleeping sister.  Opening the box with caution, Lisa peered in for another look at the ring.  The dazzling piece of jewelry sparkled before her eyes.  It looked so beautiful lying there in its velvet box!  “What a shame such a beautiful ring must lay here alone, in this wretched closet, unseen by people who might enjoy its grace and beauty!” Lisa thought to herself.  Knowing her father would not approve of her secret plan, Lisa decided she would hide the ring in her purse, just long enough to get out of the house and away from her father’s watchful eyes tomorrow morning.

                On leaving the house the next day, Lisa felt a twinge of guilt over the ring.  She had taken it with her against her father’s will.  “But,” she tried to reason with herself, “My father doesn’t realize how much excitement and fun this will bring me, if I could only just wear it outside one day!  After today, I will put the ring back in its hiding spot.  Father will never have to know.”

Once she had walked a considerable distance and was sure her father could no longer see her from the house, Lisa reached into her purse and slipped the ring on her finger.  She spent the better part of her day wandering around the town, hoping people would notice her gorgeous ring.  And notice they did!  It didn’t take long for Lisa to become a sort of celebrity.  News spread quickly through the little town about the Carpenter girl’s beautiful new piece of jewelry.  Lisa went home that evening quite satisfied with how much fun she’d gotten from flaunting her new ring.  As she placed the ring in its box later that night, the girl couldn’t help but notice a little bit of tarnish on the edges of her ring.  “That’s odd,” she thought her herself, “I only wore it for one day!”  Undaunted, however, she went to bed that night determined to allow herself one more day of fun with her ring.

The Story of the Gold Ring (part 1)

Long ago, in the country of England, there lived a Mr. and Mrs. Carpenter of 142 Westfield Road in a little town called Devonshire.  They had two young daughters, Lisa and Emily, and a small puppy they named Fluffy.  Lisa’s sixteenth birthday was quickly approaching, and as was the custom in their town, Mr. and Mrs. Carpenter were planning a special surprise for Lisa on the day she came of age.

The morning of her sixteenth birthday dawned bright, and the sun peeked hopefully over the horizon, far across the lake.  As she prepared for the milestone birthday, Lisa Carpenter hummed quietly to herself, thoroughly enjoying the sunshine as it poured into her bedroom window.    Lisa could hear her mother downstairs, cooking her favorite breakfast meal.

Later that morning, after the food was nearly gone and Mrs. Carpenter had cleared the dishes from the table, Lisa’s father reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small gift for his oldest daughter.  The tiny box revealed a beautiful, gold ring, studded with several large, pure diamonds.  Because he was a jewelry-maker, Lisa knew that her father must have fashioned this ring himself, and she also realized that with the size of the diamonds and the amount of pure gold that was in this ring, he must have paid an extremely high price for its materials.  Then Lisa noticed the inside of the beautiful piece of jewelry.  Mr. Carpenter had engraved, in beautiful, flowing letters, the name of someone Lisa didn’t know.  Slightly frustrated, Lisa wondered:  “Father, why is there a name engraved on this ring?  Does it not belong to me?”

                Lisa’s father looked at her, his eyes smiling.  “Daughter,” he began, “the ring you now hold is yours to keep for a time.  You must keep this ring safe until the proper time, when you are to give it away to someone that I have deemed worthy to receive this from you.”

                “But Father,” Lisa protested, “How will I know when I am supposed to give this ring away?  And how I shall I know whom to give it to?”

                Mr. Carpenter gave his daughter a reassuring hug.  “When the time is right, you will know who to give your ring to, for I have given its match, one engraved with your name, to the man who is to receive this ring from you.  Both of you will know when you must exchange your gifts.  Until then, keep your ring safe, and do whatever you can to protect it.  This ring is the most treasured and valued possession you have been given.  Many will want to steal it, but you must seek to protect it.”

Christian Response to Technology

Many Christians today find it hard to live out their faith in a world that is constantly bombarded by the secular media through the technology by which we are surrounded.  Does this mean that Christians should avoid use of technology at all costs?  The internet, radio, television, cell phones…how should a Christian respond to these improvements in technology and use them in a way that is pleasing to the Lord?  And finally, how can a Christian in today's world find time to spend with the Lord, when instant communication has caused real relationships and conversation to become almost obsolete?  As Paul wrote regarding the believer's freedom in 1 Corinthians 6:12, "'Everything is permissible for me' -- but not everything is beneficial.  'Everything is permissible for me' -- but I will not be mastered by anything.'"

The trap that so many Christians fall into regarding technology is to lump both its good and bad aspects together and treat them as one thing.  In the case of the Amish people, they go so far as to not even use electricity because they believe that technology is part of a worldly lifestyle and leads to sin.  The other extreme opinion is to feel that all forms of technology must be permissible because it does contain some amount of good.  Many parents who hold this view do not regulate their children's internet or TV usage because they assume that whatever bad their children may come into contact with will be outweighed by the good.  Yet neither of these perspectives are entirely correct.  Modern technology has improved so many lives for good and allowed for the gospel to spread more quickly and easily around the world.  At the same time, TV and internet has allowed sin and immorality to spread much more widely, causing many people to accept it as the norm and causing Christians to compromise with the world in their beliefs and lifestyle.  The first step in responding to media and technology is to recognize that it is a mixture of good and bad; it is not purely one or the other.  Christians must then acknowledge what is good and what is bad and make their choices accordingly about usage.

Another easy trap to fall into in terms of technology is to become dependent on it and start believing that it is the only way of feeling fulfilled.  As Paul wrote, we are not to be mastered by anything.  We should never let technology control us -- we should always be in control of it.  The way to achieve this control is by setting limits for ourselves and making ourselves accountable to others so that we will be held responsible to a reasonable standard.  Many people can actually become addicted to television or the internet, and in this way they come to rely on technology instead of the unchanging truth of the Bible.  Just like any alcohol or drug addict, technology addicts begin to feel that they can't survive without the devices they have come to depend on, and therefore use them excessively. When people are constantly stimulated by technology, even a moment without instant connection to the outside world can leave them restless and dissatisfied.  This is completely contrary to God's intentions for us to be fully dependent on Him, who will meet all of our needs over and above what technology can ever offer us.

With the invention of email, texting, Facebook, etc., many people claim that they are communicating better with their family and friends than ever before.  But the truth is that these so-called forms of "communication" have replaced the time which used to be spent building true and lasting relationships.  The struggle for Christians is to keep their relationship with the Lord from suffering the same fate.  Because this generation is taught to keep up an incredible pace of life and to do so many things at one time, it often seems unproductive to set aside times of silence with the Lord.  And when we do find a moment alone with the Lord, it is all too easy for our minds to become filled with all the things we could be doing, instead of enjoying the stillness and viewing it as a much-needed break from the chaos of our lives.  The key to finding time to spend with the Lord is simply to make it a priority in our lives so that we will find the time to pursue our relationship with Him every day.

Just like any of the gifts God has given us, technology is a blessing from God that He expects us to use wisely in a way that glorifies Him.  By distinguishing between the good and bad in technology we will be able to make informed choices about how we can best use it to honor the Lord.  By setting limits for ourselves, we can keep from becoming dependent on it or addicted to it.  And finally, by purposely setting aside times of silence with the Lord everyday, we will ensure that He remains the first priority in our lives.  When we approach technology and media in this way, we can be sure that the Lord will be honored by our actions.

Is it OK to be Angry?

If you're anything like me, you've probably been mad at God at some point, wondering what He's doing and why He has let you go through a difficult situation.  Maybe you just don't feel as though He even cares about you.  If that's the way you feel, then I can totally understand.  I've been there too.  I have definitely been angry at God, and I've let Him know it.  Two years in junior high I spent confused as to what God was doing with my life.  I couldn't see why He was letting me go through difficult times and I got mad at Him.  There were even times I asked Him to take my life.  I don't know what your particular situation may be right now, but I can tell you that God is still faithful.  He still cares about you just as much as He ever did; He has always cared about you and always will care, through the good times and the bad.  You might not see what He's doing in your life right now; in fact, you may never understand why God has let you go through what you have.  But please remember that He's still there and He wants you to trust Him.

It's okay to be confused about why God lets certain things happen.  It's okay to be frustrated, disappointed, and yes, even angry.  Those are all normal emotions that everyone feels, and God knows that.  King David, in the Bible, often went to God with his thoughts and feelings.   He talked to God about things that he was happy about, as well as things he was upset about.  When David was angry, he let God know it.  In Psalm 22:1-2 he says: "My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?  Why are You so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning?  O my God, I cry out by day, but You do not answer, by night, and am not silent."  David felt as if God was absent from his life, much like what alot of people feel.  Yet despite what he felt to be God's silence in his life, David knew the truth, and trusted that God was really there even though things seemed bleak and he felt like he was all alone.  David goes on to say: "Yet You are enthroned as the Holy One; You are the praise of Israel.  In You our fathers put their trust; they trusted and You delivered them.  They cried out to You and were saved; in You they trusted and were not disappointed" (Psalm 22:3-5).

If you're going through a tough time right now, or are confused as to what God's doing, I want to encourage you to hold on.  Trust that God has a plan for your life, though you might not see it right now.  And if you're angry with God, tell Him.  He's there waiting and willing to listen.

God Wants to Use YOU!!!

How Far is Too Far?

This is a common question among teenagers when discussing guy/girl relationships.  We all want to know what the limit of physical involvement is before it becomes “sinful”.  Yet I think that we’re asking the wrong question.  One unknown author commented: “We shouldn’t see how close to the line we can get without crossing it; we should see how far away we can stay from the line.”  God created the physical relationship between a man and a woman to be experienced only in marriage.

Paul tells the believers in Ephesus: “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people” (Ephesians 5:3).  What does it mean to have “not even a hint of sexual immorality”?  It means that there should not a trace of impurity in our lives.  We should be completely and 100% pure in the way we dress, think, talk, the movies and pictures we see, and the music we listen to.

My small group leader told the girls: “Guys will go as far as you’ll let them.  Their sinful nature wants to take advantage of a girl, so it is the girl’s responsibility to say no.”   The truth is, the further we stay away from the “line” the easier it will be for us to resist temptation.  This is why God desires us to have “not even a hint” of sexual impurity in our lives.  If we allow even a little bit of impurity to work its way into our hearts, it will be easy to go further and further physically.  Soon we could find ourselves going all the way with a guy and leaving our virginity behind.

It’s hard to be 100% pure in everything, all the way down to our thought life.  I know this from my own life.  It’s much easier to allow the “little impurities” to enter into my life than it is to keep them out.  Yet God demands that we fight to keep our purity, for our own good as well as for His glory.

If you’ve already given away your virginity, please realize that God loves you anyway.  Like my small group leader said: “When you’re saved, you become a born-again virgin as well as a born-again believer.”  God is ready and willing to forgive you and accept you into His loving embrace.  If you’re ready to take the next step and want to accept Jesus into your life, check out our “What Do I Do Now?” page.  As always, we pray that God has used this blog to touch your life.

God bless,

Sisters in Christ

Beyond the Friendship Stage

One of the questions our readers asked was: What does the Bible say about dating?  Believe it or not, the Bible says nothing about dating.  Back when the Bible was written there was no such thing as dating.  What we would consider "dating" is actually a modern concept and a product of our culture, which Joshua Harris covers well in his book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye".  In chapter three he discusses seven problems with dating.  Some of the main points he makes is that dating steals time, energy, and thoughts away from our relationship with God and doing what we believe God wants us to do with our teen years.  Rather than spending our high school years worrying about a relationship we're in, or hoping that a certain guy will ask us out, it would be way more fulfilling to spend our years as a single teenager with the goal of serving and glorifying God.  Joshua Harris says: "I believe that dating has tendencies to swerve that don't go away just because Christians do the steering.  And even those Christians who can avoid the major pitfalls of premarital sex and traumatic breakups often spend much of their energy wrestling with temptation."  It seems that dating isn't worth the time and energy which too often steals from our focus on God.

What if you want to be more than friends with a guy?  I believe the most important thing in this case is to develop patience.  As a freshman in high school I developed a huge crush on a senior guy from my youth group.  Over the course of a year I became more and more infatuated with him.  I thought God had destined me to marry him.  By mid-sophomore year he was all I thought about.  He had become my idol.  But rather than sit back, pray, and trust God to work out what I thought was His plan, I forced conversations with him and tried to make a relationship happen between us.  Eventually he told me he didn't share my feelings.  I was crushed.  I had wasted a year of my life thinking, talking, and journaling about him.  So my advice is that if you want to be more than friends with a guy, you should pray, spend lots of time in God's Word, and realize that the guy you like in high school may not be the one God has for you to marry.

Tough Questions from You

We received some tough questions from some of our readers that we would like to cover before moving onto our discussion about guys.

Question #1: How do I reach out to a friend who I know is being abused by someone?
Probably the most important thing you can do for your friend is to have her tell someone she trusts what is going on.  If it's someone outside the family that is abusing her, encourage her to tell her parents, otherwise have her talk to a youth pastor or even the wife of the youth pastor.  If your friend is being abused, she shouldn't walk through it alone.  A trusted adult needs to know what is going on.

Question #2: How do I recognize when a friend, boyfriend or family member is physically or vocally abusing you?
If you are questioning whether you might being experiencing abuse, then you probably are.  In this case too, you need to talk to a trusted adult (a parent, youth pastor, or wife of the youth pastor, etc.) about what is going on.

Question #3: How do I find God's help in these situations?
As difficult as it is, please realize that God is with you!  Spend lots of time in prayer, talk to God constantly, read your Bible, and get support from friends and trusted Christian adults.

Question #4: Is it okay to be friends with gay and lesbian people?
Yes!

Question #5: Does God really love the person but hates the sin?
Absolutely.  This goes for any sin.  The Bible says: "But God demonstates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).  God didn't wait for us to get rid of our sins before He decided to love us.  On the contrary, He came down to earth and died for us while we were still sinners!

Question #6: Is it okay if I hang out with the bad kids to be a good influence on them as long as I'm not falling into sin?
It is not wrong for you to hang out with the "bad kids", so the answer is yes, it's okay - however, the Bible tells us that hanging out with friends that are involved in things that are bad can cause us to follow them into sin.  Evaluate your motives for wanting to hang out with the "bad kids".  It's easy to say you won't fall into sin, but it's also very easy, once you get comfortable around the people who are sinning, to becoming strangely comfortable with the sin itself.

There's a quick Q&A with some of the tougher questions our readers have posted.  Be sure to check back again soon for our upcoming posts on guy/girl relationships.

Brothers and Sisters in Christ

We asked our readers to comment and tell us what they would like to read about on our blog.  You commented and asked several questions about guy/girl relationships.  We will spend the next few weeks covering those questions.

Our first few questions involved how girls should act around guys and whether or not it was okay to be friends with them.  I recently read a book by Joshua Harris titled I Kissed Dating Goodbye.  He covers this question well.  He says that guys and girls should be friends “Because God tells us that as Christians we have a built-in level of commitment to each other as ‘brothers and sisters’ in Christ (1 Timothy 5:1-2).  We’re family.”

In one of his letters to Timothy, Paul gives him instructions regarding his various relationships with the people around him.  He tells Timothy: “Do not rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and with all propriety, the younger women as sisters.”  Paul doesn’t tell Timothy to get rid of his relationships with girls, but rather to treat them as he should, as his sisters in Christ!

God wants us to look to the example of Jesus Christ for what our human relationships should look like, whether they’re guy/girl relationships, family relationships, or friendships.  Joshua Harris sums up well the purpose of relationships: “They’re not to be about getting, but giving.  Every relationship for a Christian is an opportunity to love another person like God has loved us.”